September 4, 2007 – OMG! GOD reads my columns!

How do I know this?  Because he sent me an email over the weekend.

How do I know the email was from God, you ask?  Because, as every good Christian knows, only the G-force himself has the right to judge people’s morals or lifestyle.  And not only was this person judging the morals of Senator Larry Craig and gay people, but also mine for not condemning them (because, well, last I checked, the Bible told me this was God’s job — not mine).

Here’s what God (who apparently goes by the earthly name of “BK”) wrote:

“I think that it is good for people of character to state their moral beliefs especially in these times when the are going to get flak or even persecuted for them.  To be frank I find your superior attitude about your own liberal social views rather disgusting.”

I bet this guy has a ton of friends.  I know, personally, there’s nothing I enjoy more than a Friday with friends, engaging in witty banter about our “moral beliefs”.  Good times.

Newsflash to those who refuse to have fun at weddings, do any sort of dancing that doesn’t consist of the unprotected horizontal mambo, or drink alcohol — all because they think Jesus wouldn’t approve:

Jesus turned water into wine, and trashed the money changers’ crib.  Dude was hardcore.  If he was alive today, he’d be a cross between Criss Angel and Eminem, and would be dating Lindsay Lohan (the modern day Mary Magdalene).

As if a guy who makes wine from water wouldn’t want you to drink or party it up.  Please.  I hope he pops by again soon because he needs to teach some his followers how to loosen up and stop trying to do his dad’s job.

I’m going to run this by Father Scott at church and see if he’ll let me do the next sermon.


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