Attention telemarketers, con men and various other scam artists: Boy, do I ever have the ideal sucker list for you! How about giving Virgin Airlines and British Airways a phone call and offering them a few bucks to purchase their list of folks who actually purchase carbon credits?
When someone books a flight online with British Airways, they’re asked if they’d like to purchase carbon credits ($34.53 from NYC to London, for example) to offset the pollution they’re going to generate during the trip. The money goes to the United Nations (I would make a joke here, but it would just be redundant).
What I want to know is how they were able to calculate my “carbon damage” without knowing my weight? Shouldn’t the fat slob next to me on the flight, who’s clearly eating the earth to death at an apparent time of food shortage overseas, be forced to pay more than me? And what about the old lady on the plane who keeps asking for blankets? Can we ding her an extra few dollars to even the score while we can, please? Because you KNOW she has her thermostat cranked up to 80 degrees, year ’round. Friggin earth murderer.
I like the way Virgin Airlines suckers folks into paying carbon credits. They hit you up in-flight! I think shameless marketer, CEO Richard Branson, could do better than that: What about having the flight attendants dress up as nuns and priests, and send them around with collection plates instead? Who would want to piss off God at 35,000ft? Not even me!
It’s like those morons who check the box on their tax forms to willingly give your refund back to the government as a “donation”. Who the hell does that? Is it the same people who are always sitting there smiling about nothing on the subway? I’d like to experience the ecstacy of being that dense – if only for a few minutes…someday.