May 27, 2008 – Fat people (and guys like Lance Armstrong) are killing the planet

India won't tolerate this.
India won’t tolerate this.

A couple of researchers wrote in the Lancet medical journal that fat people are not only eating all the food in a time of world shortage, but also a major cause of global warming since they require an abundance of fuel to get their fat selves from point A to B. This means that Al Gore fails on two levels: Not only could he stand to lose a few, but he’s also advocating in favour of using our food supply (ie. grains) to make “alternative fuel” when we really ought to be saving it for our own gas tank instead of sticking it in our cars.

I don’t think the scientists went far enough, though. Everyone’s always picking on the fat people – probably because they’re a perpetually easy target. But what about all those professional athletes who have a high muscle volume and increased appetite from the relentless exercising? They’re probably eating as much as the fat folks, plus they do a lot more hauling of their mesomorphic bods (and muscle weighs more than fat) from game to game.

This whole discussion is stupid and pointless, and it’s really just useful for liberals looking to justify another tax (like that loopy “carbon tax” for willing suckers, as discussed in an earlier post). In a country like the USA, fat people are already paying for their own private health care if their weight issues lead to problems – so really, they can do what they want. I really don’t care – and neither should you…or Barack Obama.

But of course, Barack DOES care. He cares what the rest of the world thinks about people in the US pigging out and keeping their homes too warm: “We can’t eat as much as we want… and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK.”

So, should we be getting the UN’s permission before tucking into a second serving at the buffet? Or should we ask them what the Global Thermostat Limit should be? Apparently we need a governing world body to equalize the standard of living between the haves and have-nots, even while we allow the same “have not” developing countries to spew as much pollution as possible and not have to abide by environmental accords?

How about Obama spends the next few years traveling around the world with Al Gore, getting consensus on this issue from all the other countries? We wouldn’t want him to waste his obviously copious talents and philosophies on the overweight, wasteful, ungrateful sloths here in the USA, would we? Sounds like he’s destined for something much greater – like a Nobel Prize. Presidential aspirations are really for dumb pragmatists.

To me, this issue suggests what an Obama presidency would mean: Protectionism and overregulation. Or at the very least fat people’s mouths being taped shut before the dessert tray arrives.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “May 27, 2008 – Fat people (and guys like Lance Armstrong) are killing the planet

  1. mikeamo

    “We can’t eat as much as we want… and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK.”

    Yes we can!

  2. infin81

    Do these clowns have nothing better to research? Just because people choose to live in the desert, where there is no food, why should I not indulge. Simple concept, live where the food is!

    When I see Sally Struthers (who hasn’t missed too many meals herself) campaigning on behalf of World Vision, asking me to send money to feel little Imram, I think to myself, “Why don’t you feed him, you’re only five feet away!”

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