New Syndicated Column: Soldiers Returning Home To Fight The “War On Jerks”

Soldiers Returning Home To Fight The “War On Jerks”

By:  Rachel Marsden

This week marks the two year anniversary of Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid declaring the Iraq war virtually hopeless. Coincidentally, so were my dating prospects. One of the best side effects of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is that there are men worth dating again.

On the battlefield of love, I’m a decorated five-star general, navigating the endless minefield of jerks with the attitude of Patton and the skill of Napoleon (or, some might say, Rommel). I worked my way up in the ranks, took some enemy fire, and have the purple hearts to prove it. But over the course of this journey, I believe that I have figured out why military men make the best dating prospects:

Soldiers know the meaning of commitment. Those who volunteer for service are obligated to sign a contract and stick to it. Chances are that if they managed to resist several years of, “I really don’t want to risk going out and getting my head blown off today, I think I’ll bail,” kind of thinking, they’ll probably be less tempted to cancel on a nice dinner out that doesn’t involve grenades and head shots. This obviously doesn’t apply to deserters who take off to Canada.

They know accountability. If you screw up in the military, someone will care. And there will be consequences. Sometimes even death. What’s up with men nowadays who just do whatever they feel like, at any given moment, and fully expect that everything will be cool? Did they not learn consequences from mommy and daddy? I believe in relationship accountability. If more women held their date-mates accountable for deplorable behavior, the jerk-pool would be much more shallow. How about giving that kick to the curb some strategic direction, ladies? Put some effort into it! Personally, I have drop-kicked a guy still living with his parents back onto their doorstep for further basement incubation. I then returned an intelligence officer who secretly married another woman inside his house half-way through our two year relationship back to her — and handed the classified documents he would leave on my coffee table, presumably because he was too cheap to buy me jewelry, back to his superiors. And perhaps most prominently, I returned the founder of Wikipedia, who announced our breakup on the site, back to the Internet — by auctioning off on eBay the clothes he left behind. Some “men” might find this sort of accountability downright terrifying — but obviously they have never been on a battlefield.

Soldiers don’t need to be taught the meaning of bravery. They can stomach telling the truth in the first place — and not just when forcibly extracted from them because they’re busted in an outright lie. I dated one guy who was sick for a week after I unraveled all his lies in what amounted to an hour-long verbal waterboarding. (I’m not exactly the type to waste my life waiting for the lies and deception to come trickling out over time.) I told him that nausea is common during the turbulent trip from Bull**itville to Realityland, but that he’d survive. The whining about my “torture” persisted, and I soon grew eager for Stockholm Syndrome to kick in. Military men certainly wouldn’t debase themselves in such a manner.

Narcissism doesn’t fly in the military. In the heat of battle, if you’re obsessed with your image and your Twitter account (“LOL OMG TALIBANZ!”), you won’t be reading the enemy and chances are you’ll probably die sooner or later. If only this happened in the dating world, some of us would be much better off.

Military men don’t have inferiority complexes. Most of the war veterans I know say very little about their service. They have nothing to prove. They’re real men, with real accomplishments, and feminism hasn’t rendered them so weak to the point that they attempt to bolster their self-worth by racking up a high-score on the booty circuit.

There are certain codes of behavioral conduct in the military. Granted, I’m sure there are a lot of shenanigans, as well — but that’s to be expected when you’re faced with the very real possibility of death on a daily basis. But what’s the average schmo’s excuse? I find that so many men and their friends are so lacking in values and character that if Charles Manson were to be let out of prison, they’d gladly buy him a beer and laugh at his “antics”. After all, who are we to judge this poor guy with progressive, unconventional values? Plus, he’s, like, soooo funny! It’s like someone has taken a giant magnet to manhood’s collective moral compass. It’s something I wish self-described “progressive” women — both Republican (ahem, Meghan McCain) and Democrat — would give some thought to before they declare all these “old values” to be useless and dated.

So I’m quite looking forward to the boys coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan to rescue us women in this “War On Jerks” quagmire.


Ms. Marsden is an international political and media strategist, TV and radio personality, and the CEO and Editor-in-Chief of GrandCentralPolitical News Syndicate. Her first political book is due out in 2009. She can be reached via her website at  This column also appears at Human Events.


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New Column: French Workers Shut Down Eiffel Tower: A Preview Of Socialism

French Workers Shut Down Eiffel Tower:  A Preview Of Socialism

By:  Rachel Marsden

A Rasmussen poll here in America has just found that only 53% Americans prefer capitalism to socialism.  Care to see what the alternative looks like?

“Strike closes Eiffel Tower; worker’s demands not known,” read the headline of a Canadian Press story this week.  Apparently 500 people who work in the city’s largest tourist attraction all just walked off the job.  No one even needs an excuse not to work in France anymore.  Coming up with things like “demands” takes work and effort.  And why bother going through the rigmarole of requesting time off, jockeying for prime vacation days with your colleagues, or even notifying your boss of your absence when they could have it so much worse and really should be so lucky that you just decided not to show up.

For those French bosses who audaciously impose things like “schedules” and “work days” on their underlings, the French will be willing to foist work upon themselves as prison guards, holding their boss hostage in the workplace.  That’s what happened recently to the executives at France’s 3M, Caterpillar and Sony plants.  With 45% of French approving of this tactic, according to a poll this week, things aren’t likely to be changing anytime soon.

Having spent some considerable time recently in Paris, France, I just happened to be there during one of the country’s national strikes.  From where I was that day in the upper-scale 16th arrondissement, it wasn’t too noticeable.  The subway operated normally, and students whose teachers were on strike appeared to have some studying to do.  Mainly because they’re told that unless they qualify for certain universities and programs, they can pretty much kiss their entire lives goodbye.  Attending the right schools in France determines whether you will, in the future, be locking up a superior in a private industry job…or, alternatively, being wrapped up in duct tape by an underling. 

But just south of where I was, at the Place de la Nation, the police spent the national strike day fighting off rioters, who apparently had nothing better to do after a long day of being paid not to work.

Don’t get me wrong, there are people who work in France – aside from Nicolas Sarkozy and the people around him.  There are the entrepreneurs who can’t, for example, just walk off the job at their handbag store in the Palais des Congres at 2pm.  They’re just as frustrated and fed up as anyone in America would be with the same situation.  But they are seriously outnumbered.

I sat down with some of the people in charge and asked them why the government just doesn’t take away strike pay, and therefore remove any incentive to stay off the job.  I also wanted to know why there is any fear of unions in France when President Nicolas Sarkozy passed a law after the 2007 strikes mandating a minimum service level.  “He has a parliamentary majority,” I said, “So he can do whatever he wants.  Why doesn’t he?”  Apparently the fear is that France is so heavily unionized that if they all wanted to walk out, there wouldn’t be enough police power to stop them nor enough jails to hold them.  It’s not like Sarkozy could just fire everyone, like Reagan did with the air traffic controllers.  Unless he wants the kind of paralysis that his predecessor Jacques Chirac saw in the mid-1990s.

Sarkozy was elected to reform France – which he is trying relentlessly to do — but his message is getting lost in the viciously leftist French media.   The guillotine has been replaced by French printing presses:  “The Zombies Of The Republic”, screamed the front cover of Le Point, promoting a story portraying all of his ministers as either puppets or crybabies.  “Divorce: Why The French Are Abandoning Him”, read the cover of Marianne magazine, before going on to call Sarkozy’s denial of economic stimulus funds for people already swimming in the public trough of French social services “the unpardonable mistake.”  Every day, La Liberation newspaper attacks those “rich bosses” in its cover story, further fanning the flames of class envy, ignoring that Sarkozy himself, who didn’t go to any of the “right” schools, is hardly wealthy himself.

The best Sarkozy can ever hope for is a fair shake in Le Figaro, whose editorial slant is about the ideological equivalent of the New York Times.

And then there’s the treachery within his own party – the people who have one hand on his shoulder and the other on a sharp knife tucked behind their back.  They see the media dogpile as an opportunity to possibly exploit for the sake of their own political career and future. 

“Sarko The American” isn’t one to suffer fools gladly.  He’s not the type to meet twenty times about an issue, after which everyone has forgotten why they were even meeting in the first place.  No – Sarko is the closest thing the country has seen to a leader of action and impact since Generals De Gaulle and Napoleon.  And that scares people who would rather sit around and talk about something ad infinitum and “think tank” it to death, for fear that any action might provoke a consequence.

Napoleon himself best sums up Sarkozy’s current battle:  “Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets.” 

If only there were a mere four.


Rachel Marsden is a political and media strategist, author, TV/radio personality and the CEO and Editor-in-Chief of GrandCentralPolitical News Syndicate.  This column also appears at Human Events.

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New Column: Obama The European vs Sarko The American

Obama The European vs Sarko The American

By: Rachel Marsden

This week, the London Times exposed French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s frustration with Barack Obama and the media drooling surrounding him.  The two have very different leadership styles:  Sarkozy actually does something, publicizes it like crazy, then watches as he gets ripped to shreds in France’s overwhelmingly far-left media.  Sounds about right for a guy nicknamed “Sarko the American” trying to get something done in Europe.  By contrast, Obama says he is going to do something, then watches as the media speculates on how incredibly awesome it will be.

With Obama, any action that doesn’t involve the implementation of socialism usually isn’t quite as earth-shattering as the media makes it out to be. 

For example, while it’s true that President and Commander-in-Chief Barack Obama was in charge when the Navy Seals rescued an American boat crew from Islamic terrorists – referred to by the media as “pirates” while at sea – the French and Germans have been cannonballing into those waters for awhile, making it safe for Obama to dip his Messianic toe.  One would expect that anyone short of Jimmy Carter, when granted access to the Defense Department’s toybox, would take on a bunch of thugs in boat.

The Germans nabbed a pirate last month named Ali Mohamed.  Naturally, he’s now suing them for inhumanity.  And French President Nicolas Sarkozy has been racking up these Pirates of the Caribbean understudies like he’s the franchise’s casting agent.  Eleven captured this week, and 70 over the past year, according to the BBC.

Obama really isn’t doing anything new here. He’s just finally catching up to Sarkozy and Europe’s terrorism tolerance level.  The idea of Europeans taking down swashbuckling Muslims on the high seas is so old that I was thinking maybe the real catalyst for Obama’s sudden interest in the issue was Sarkozy’s high profile failure in tackling of pirates in French parliament last week.  Pirates of the music kind!  No one showed up to vote on the music piracy law, except for a few Socialists who apparently weren’t busy ripping music off the Internet.  But since Sarkozy lost, it was huge news everywhere – unlike his ongoing takedown of Muslim terrorists playing Popeye.

And the pirate situation is just one recent high-profile case.  According to the London Times this week, Sarkozy also had to prod Obama into supporting various initiatives at the recent G20 meeting, including persuading China to clamp down on tax havens.  Naturally, the media gave Obama all the credit for the initiative, which apparently annoyed Sarkozy.  

An issue that hasn’t received much attention in the American media is the fact that Obama used his European visit to throw open the EU borders – a move that Sarkozy has been fighting for years.  Presumably, the issue was overshadowed here at home by his pitch for opening America’s borders with talk of legalizing illegal aliens.

Sarkozy said on Charlie Rose’s PBS program a couple of years ago that he’s against including Turkey – the world’s largest Muslim country – in the EU because they’re already having enough trouble integrating Europe without including Asia Minor.  It would be like erasing the border completely between the USA and Mexico, giving everyone the same passport, and telling them they can all legally work, live, and travel anywhere.

Then something wonderful happened for humanity:  Barack Obama was elected President of the World, and erased all cultural and geographic boundaries between Turkey and Europe:  “Turkey is bound to Europe by more than bridges over the Bosporus.  Centuries of shared history, culture and commerce bring you together. And Turkish membership would broaden and strengthen Europe’s foundation once more.”

It’s like Obama’s speechwriter mated Reagan’s “Tear Down This Wall, Gorby!” speech with JFK’s “Eich Bin Ein Berliner”, and came up with, “Hey, You’re All Turks, Man, So What’s The Deal With Borders?”

Obama ought to know better, if he was dealing in substance.  He was just at the NATO meeting in Strasbourg where the Turks nearly scuttled the nomination of a new Secretary General from Denmark because a few years ago some cartoonist over there drew a depiction of prophet Mohammed that launched the usual response of Islamic performance art involving fire and rage.  As far as countries go, Turkey seems pretty high maintenance.

And Sarkozy isn’t alone in his frustrations.  Bavarian EU Parliament member, Bernd Posselt, told Germany’s Der Spiegel, “The EU is not Obama’s plaything…He should accept Turkey as America’s 51st state instead.” 

Even Czech President Vaclav Klaus, who took over the rotating EU presidency from Sarkozy in recent months, is calling Obama’s policies “socialist”.  He told Agence France Presse this week:  “The same chimera of equality, which we rejected with the fall of communism, is taking hold again.”

For anyone thinking that governments don’t always represent the level of support among their people – Klaus enjoys a 58% (and rising) popularity rating according to a poll released this week.  And while Sarkozy’s numbers remain steady, largely due to a strategic mix of bone-tossing symbolic leftism on things like “climate change” and meaningful right-wing reforms, France still largely supports his views vis-à-vis Turkey’s inclusion in the EU.

Congratulations, America.  You now have a leader who’s officially more European than what even Europe will tolerate.


Rachel Marsden is a political and media strategist, author, TV personality and CEO/Editor-in-Chief of GrandCentralPolitical News Syndicate.  This column also appears at Human Events. 

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New Syndicated Column: Hang On To Your Wallets, Here Comes The EU!

Hang On To Your Wallets, Here Comes The EU!

By:  Rachel Marsden,_here_comes_the_eu!

If you want proof that any given group, if not explicitly defined as right-leaning, will ultimately end up in leftist shambles, one only has to look as far the European Union’s recent meeting in Brussels.  The purpose?  To deal with the world financial crisis.  Up until now, its main focus has been tackling the fairy tale of “global warming”.  But now the EU has a real world problem to deal with.  People likely aren’t giving much thought to global warming when their investment portfolios are on fire.

What ended up happening at this meeting was exactly what you might expect:  Hungary and the Baltic states want to be bailed out by countries like France and Germany, which are having enough financial troubles of their own. 

Le Figaro newspaper reports that France’s debt is heading for 80% of its GDP (or $27,625 US per person) by the end of next year.  France pumped $450 billion US into its banks last year, and another $7.8 billion to prop up French car manufacturers – because the world would be lost without Renaults and Citroens.   Germany bailed out its banks last October to the tune of $675 billion US.  And now the crippled are being asked to carry the wounded with a massive transfer of wealth.

All these so-called “independent” states, which presumably want to be treated like adults at the big kids’ table in each of the various layers of European Union government, are now begging for a form of economic colonization, not realizing – or perhaps not caring – that there is always a price to being bought off.  Or at least there ought to be.  When you live in mom and dad’s basement, because you can’t get your own affairs in order, you shouldn’t be allowed to call the shots – or even have any role in setting the agenda.

So far, the consensus is to deal with such bailouts of entire countries on a case-by-case basis.  Hopefully, that means never.  Argentina has been digging itself out of bankruptcy for the past few years, and will perhaps one day figure out that socialism doesn’t work.  In the meantime, other countries can use the lesson:  You can’t keep pouring money into a socialist society when there’s no production occurring to create the wealth you’re spending pre-emptively.  China has a lot of money because everyone is producing, but no one has freedom.  That’s the other extreme.

The European Union started out as a good idea, with the intent to reduce red tape within Europe to facilitate the flow of money, people and goods.  The problem is that with any group, you’re at the mercy of the lowest common denominator.  So if France, with its formerly ultra-liberal immigration policy, is letting in Muslims from the old African colonies who “slaughter sheep in the bathtub”, as French President Sarkozy put it during his election campaign, then that’s going to be the common denominator with Europe-wide free movement, and the only limiting factor will be employers’ individual selection and recruitment processes in various countries.  And the rest will, evidently, just riot.

The EU really needs a single governing council, made up of one member from each state, with the purpose of cutting through red tape.  Instead, it has become a multi-layered bureaucracy which serves as a graveyard for failed European politicians and various Euro-diplotards who have been educated in the “finest” European academic institutions far beyond their level of intelligence – mainly because that’s how you exert control over people in a society…by telling them there is only one way of doing things and one path to success.

Want a solution to the European economic crisis?  Empty all the “elite” schools and flatten the bureaucracy.  Tell all these fine minds to go out and actually produce or create something of value rather than warming a desk in some government office.  If all the energy spent on chair-heating and then partying all night in all-night clubs across Europe was channeled into productivity, there wouldn’t be an economic crisis in Europe.

Now, you might be asking yourself, “Why should I care, as an American?”  Well, because President Obama is intent on spreading the misery of this crisis, and it’s unclear at this point how far across borders that misery will reach, or whether we’re looking at some kind of a new economic Marshall Plan to help out Europe.  He’s already being prodded in that regard by UK PM Gordon Brown who, like Obama, is tossing money at make-work government projects and, unlike Obama, is facing a toss right out of office as a result.  It would represent yet another failure of Obama-style socialism.  Only now is Brown toying with possible tax cuts.  Yet Brown said in a Washington meeting with Obama this week:  “There is no old Europe, no new Europe, there is only your friend Europe. So once again I say we should seize the moment — because never before have I seen a world so willing to come together. Never before has that been more needed. And never before have the benefits of cooperation been so far-reaching.”

Perhaps I can put this in terms that some Brits can understand:  Never before has the detriment of giving a socialist more money to piss up a wall been so glaringly evident.


Rachel Marsden is a political and media strategist, TV and radio personality, author, and Editor-in-Chief of GrandCentralPolitical News Syndicate.  This article also appears at

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New Syndicated Column: And The Political Oscar Goes To…

And The Political Oscar Goes To…

By:  Rachel Marsden

Over the past week, both Hollywood and its Washington political counterpart – Fuglywood, DC – gathered to celebrate themselves by engaging in deep speechifying. The former with the annual Academy Awards, the latter with President Obama’s “State Of Myself” speech to Congress. It’s in the spirit of both of these events that I would like to present you, dear reader, with my list of political Oscar winners for the week:

Best Actor In An Ongoing Dramedy – President Barack Obama: The same person who rammed the trillion dollar Porkulus Magnus down our throats announced during his Congressional address that he wants to now perform a surgical line-item veto on the budget. And education will be free for everyone through college – because at least for now, the Chinese are keeping the American economy afloat through the purchase of treasury bonds, in between political dissident lashings and sips of dead tiger wine. He’s also going to fix health care – apparently without ever explaining to Americans what the very simple, real issue is: the costs of lobbying driving up insurance premiums so they can wine and dine politicians and buy them off on the company’s tab. Why didn’t Obama call on politicians to turn down health care related buyoffs? Further, he claims that he wants to somehow grow industry, while simultaneously taxing every burp of gaseous byproduct.

Best Makeup – Nancy Pelosi: Was she ambushed, before last night’s Obama speech, by the makeup team that made Brad Pitt look like a kid in “The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button”?

Best Cryptic Reference – AR Rahman: Rahman won two Oscars for his music in “Slumdog Millionaire”. In his first acceptance speech, he referred to himself, out of nowhere, as a Tamil. In the second, he explained that he had a choice in life between love and hate – and chose love. Not sure if he meant that he chose to hug rather than slug someone in a bar – or whether he was perhaps referring to Tamil tiger terrorists who have arguably wreaked more destruction than any terrorist group in the name of Tamil nationalism. If so, I’d say Rahman made a wise choice, considering the Tamil Tigers are getting their behinds handed to them by the Sri Lankan government right now.

Lifetime Achievement Award – Sean Penn: No, this award really doesn’t go to Penn, but apparently he accepted it on behalf of the long vilified, late Senator Joe McCarthy when he thanked Hollywood for being rife with “commie, homo-loving sons of guns” during his acceptance speech for the movie, “Milk”.

Best Actor In A Sequel – Al Sharpton: Some of us thought that Barack Obama’s election would be the end of Sharpton. But a New York Post cartoon changed all that, giving him an excuse for another public fundraising campaign. The culprit? A cartoon showing police officers shooting the Tri-State area chimp that ripped a woman’s face off. The cartoon commented that now someone else will have to write the stimulus bill. The rational mind unencumbered by racism would interpret this as meaning that Congress (the entity that wrote the stimulus) is full of monkeys. But Sharpton wants us to think that Obama – the man who didn’t write the stimulus, but rather only SOLD it – is supposed to be the monkey. Because he’s black. Or at least that’s what I think he wants us to think. I really wish someone – anyone – in any of the zillion media interviews that Sharpton has done thus far, would ask him to explain his thinking to those of us who aren’t down with the latest racist jargon. Sharpton is also springboarding the incident into a full-court press on NY Post owner, Rupert Murdoch’s, media ownership rights – apparently ripping a page from the Islamic extremists’ playbook chapter, “Drawings I Don’t Like”. Sharpton is the political version of the “Saw” horror movie series: He goes away for awhile, but trots out the same tired act when it’s time to make money.

Best Actor In An Ongoing Foreign Drama – George Clooney: The United Nations released a memo this week stating: “After a decade of unprecedented growth, United Nations peacekeeping had essentially become a ‘victim of its own success’.” Apparently “success” is defined as “quagmire” by the UN. And George Clooney has been involved as a talking-head for Darfur’s quagmire for the past few years. I’m not sure why Clooney was on Larry King this week calling for action by Obama when Bush – the most generous African aid president in American history – lacked his support for humanitarian intervention in Iraq. Moreover, according to the UN’s Alain Le Roy, Under-Secretary-General, Department of Peacekeeping Operations, “Peacekeeping missions could succeed only if they had the support of the major United Nations bodies, including the General Assembly and the Security Council, as well as of the wider Secretariat and relevant host countries and people served by those missions on the ground”. Go ear-bend Sudan’s business partners, China and Russia, George. Then come on back.

Best Comedic Pratfall – Imran Khan: The former Pakistani cricket player turned politician/bozo-clown, who was once married to Jemima Khan, one of Princess Di’s best friends, successfully slipped past CNN’s Fareed Zakaria that America made a mistake in targeting the Taliban, because they weren’t the terrorists, only Al Qaeda was. Which is, I suppose, why the United Nations struck up the sufficiently verbose “Security Council Committee established pursuant to resolution 1267 (1999) concerning Al-Qaida and the Taliban and Associated Individuals and Entities”.

Rachel Marsden is a political and media strategist, TV/radio personality, author, and Editor-in-Chief of GrandCentralPolitical News Syndicate. This column also appears at Human Events.

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New Syndicated Column: It’s Mourning In America, But Here’s How To Survive

It’s Mourning In America, But Here’s How To Survive

By:  Rachel Marsden

President Barack Obama just took every dollar America will ever have to its name that isn’t borrowed from China or Saudi Arabia, and flushed it all away with a smile and a pen stroke.  But in countries built on freedom and individualism, people survive and thrive despite their moronic governments.  As the leftist band R.E.M. backwardly said when they apparently started missing the “malaise” of the Carter administration after Reagan took over:  “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.”  And here is how you, a productive American, can feel fine as the country locks into this socialist tailspin:

1) Turn off the TV news.  I think everyone has a general idea of the idiocy in which Obama and the Democrats are engaged.  You know why cable networks keep showing us this financial disaster porn?  Because you keep watching!  You don’t need to rivet yourself to a blow-by-blow of the implosion.  The Obama administration is going to be like any other soap opera – you can tune out and come back in three years without having missed anything.  Go out and do something productive for yourself instead.

2) Listen to Rush Limbaugh on the radio, every day.  It really doesn’t matter if you agree with him politically or not – he is, by far, a better motivator than anyone currently on the professional speaking circuit or with a box set of “advice” CDs for sale on late-night infomercials.  If Rush wasn’t the nation’s top radio host, he could have coached a team to the Superbowl championships.  Rush won’t tell you how great you are as a result of your mere existence, but he’ll tell you what you need to do to achieve greatness, success, and personal freedom, in contrast to Obama and the Democrats who keep telling us that we’re helpless and at the mercy of whatever “solution” they come up with for this economic crisis they’re exacerbating.

3) Don’t be afraid to take jobs outside of your field when times are tough.  Cable TV giant Bill O’Reilly says that he drove a taxi and worked as a nightclub bouncer between jobs.  Rush Limbaugh worked in sports marketing for several years.  Fox News’ Sean Hannity was a bartender and construction worker.  While between jobs and just starting out, I did everything from Santa Claus photography in shopping malls to manning the complaint line for a parking ticket company and assisting at an investment firm.  Don’t know where to start?  How about asking an illegal immigrant where they managed to pick up some work?  Remember that no work experience ever goes to waste.  Spend your free time volunteering in your field to get the experience and contacts you need, like I did back in 2000, when I lived on $10/day savings in NYC, and slept in a tiny, non air-conditioned room with three other people, just for the privilege of fetching coffee for Connie Chung and Barbara Walters at ABC News every day.  So you have a freshly-minted advanced Masters or PhD degree?  Congratulations – you’re now fully qualified to get to work sweeping the floors in the industry of your choice, and to start proving that you’re worth more.

4) Discover the joys and economic benefits of community.  By this, I don’t mean saying, “Honey, I know we’ve only been dating for three weeks, but I think we should move in together because of the bad economy.”  No – even the worst economic situation is no excuse for being a tramp.  Keep it classy, but bad economic times are a great excuse to get closer to family and friends.  A fun night at home playing Trivial Pursuit, sharing stories and talking costs next to nothing.

5) If you’re in university, now is a good time to seriously rethink what the heck you’re doing with your life.  Did you hear CNN’s story of the advanced law school grad who racked up $150,000 in student debt, sent out resumes to 300 law firms, got a single interview and no job offers?  You’re probably on the phone right now to about a dozen people you know, after reading that sentence, thinking you missed their story on CNN.  Newsflash:  Universities and colleges are businesses.  Businesses run almost exclusively by liberals.  That should tell you everything you need to know about what kind of return you can expect on your investment.  They take your money, it disappears into the black hole of academia, and you get spit back out with your pockets emptied and your brain thoroughly washed.  Research market needs and training programs that prepare you for in-demand jobs, or ones that will give you skills to create your own opportunities.

6) Create your own job, and get money to do it.  Billionaire entrepreneur and Dallas Mavericks owner, Mark Cuban, is offering cash to promising start-up businesses, with details on his blog at  Could you imagine President Obama and the Democrats announcing, “Our $780 billion stimulus plan consists solely of funding for new American enterprise.  Submit a solid, innovative proposal and you’ll get a cut.”?  Neither can I.

7) How about using your FaceBook and social networking accounts for something other than posting drunken party pictures of yourself?  Hopefully by now you have a few friends on there whom you haven’t simply added because they’re “cute” or “hot”, and you’ll have built a reputation through interaction within that network as a decent person who’s sufficiently serious and hard-working.  Try leveraging and mining it for any opportunities.  Just, please, avoid going full-bore at someone with something like, “I NEED A JOB!!  GOT ONE?”  It’s the professional equivalent of someone jamming their tongue into your mouth within the first 10 seconds of the first date.


Rachel Marsden is a political strategist, TV/radio commentator and host, author and the Editor-in-Chief of GrandCentralPolitical News Syndicate.  This column also appears at Human Events.


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New Column: Joe Biden: The Rain Man Of The Democratic Party

Joe Biden: Rain Man Of The Democratic Party
By: Rachel Marsden

Where is Vice-President Joe Biden? In the Obama administration, he’s a political quadriplegic sending signals from underneath the HopenChange Party Bus. It’s a sort of morse code, and last week he managed to get out: “3-0-%-S-C-R-E-W-E-D”.

Here’s the context of Biden’s remarks: “Not since World War II has a caucus gathered with so many challenges facing our country and the stakes so high. If we do everything right … there’s still a 30 percent chance we’re going to get it wrong.”

When President Obama was asked what Biden meant, he said he wasn’t sure: “You know, I don’t remember exactly what Joe was referring to. Not surprisingly.”

Best I can tell, Biden gets a gut feeling which makes its way to his brain, but usually ends up on the exit ramp to his mouth instead.

So far be it for me to guess exactly what was going on in Vice-President Biden’s head when he made this remark, or how much of his comment was directed at the economic crisis currently being exacerbated by endless meddling – like when you pluck your eyebrows and it comes out uneven, so you just keep plucking and evening them out until you have nothing left. That’s the US treasury.

But you’ve got to figure that the economy must have been foremost in Biden’s mind when he said these things, right?
While he may not have been thinking exclusively about this enormous Democratic party spending spree, he may as well have been speaking only of it: ACORN gets a whopping $4 billion. Unemployable feminists get $300 million to fight violence against women (I thought the police did that). Artists get $50 million to make “art” that wouldn’t need grants if it was marketable. $90 million to “educate” the dummies who don’t yet realize that starting in 2010, their rabbit-ear TVs won’t work with the digital conversion. $4.2 billion for liberals to “stabilize” neighborhoods – meaning they get turned into make-work projects that never end up improving, lest people lose their “stabilization” jobs.

Again, while Biden perhaps wasn’t addressing the economy specifically, to say there’s a 30% chance this $800 billion dollar package may not do anything for the economy sounds about right. He could have made that 100% – because, according to the Washington Post, the Obama administration is already pondering another $1.5 trillion cash withdrawal from the people’s account at the Bank Of Hopenchange, suggesting they don’t have a whole lot of faith, and putting them in agreement with economists who told Bloomberg News that it won’t stop the economic slide.

Those of us who prefer their reality served straight-up, unshaken and unstirred, appreciate that rare politician’s ability to communicate without creating a rhetorical mudbath around himself filled with talking points. In Biden’s case, it may be intentional, or it may simply be a special gift. Or maybe I’m just projecting, because I’m so desperate right now for a politician in Washington like this – and am willing to accept Joe Biden as “Mr. Right For Right Now”.

Obama needed Biden on his ticket because it conveyed the message that there would at least be an adult present: someone to accompany junior on the political roller-coaster so he meets “you must be this experienced to ride” requirements. But now that he’s through the entrance gate, Obama has ditched his adult supervision. So now Biden is just the annoying crazy guy yelling at the coaster as it hurtles towards the big plunge.

During the campaign Biden nearly derailed the Hopenchange Party Bus in the final stretch of the campaign when he said that a newly-minted Obama is likely to be tested by an international crisis in short order. He has been. Except that he doesn’t seem to know it.

Obama sent Biden to a security conference with world leaders in Germany last week. Biden said the Obama administration wants to “press the reset button” with Russia, even as they help Iran complete their nuclear bomb, er, “energy” project. He said there would be “meaningful incentives” for Iran if they abandoned their terrorism sponsorship and bomb making projects – which is like offering a Hershey’s Kiss to Willy Wonka in exchange for the deed to his chocolate factory.

What was accomplished at the Munich meeting? Largely nothing. Which is what happens when Biden is properly choke-chained to his script. I prefer the “freestyle” Biden who, when asked two years ago what he thought of Obama, responded: “”I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

Cut to a news storm trying to determine the context of his remarks and what exactly Biden meant by them.
Biden is going to the Special Olympics soon – heading up a delegation, not competing himself. But he is the Rain Man of political spin. Rather than follow his party’s talking points, he absorbs all the toxicity and regurgitates it in the form of a mysterious yet insightful little nugget. It’s quite the gift.


Rachel Marsden is a political strategist, author, TV/radio personality, and Editor-in-Chief of GrandCentralPolitical News Syndicate.  This column also appears at Human Events.

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